 As
preteens turn into teenagers, they tend to become consumed
about their appearance.
This is a natural transition and part of growing up,
according to Dr. Kelly Gorman, chief pediatric resident at
Sacred Heart’s Pediatric
Care Center. “Children’s images of themselves begin to take
shape as their bodies
change,” says Dr. Gorman. “They begin to compare themselves
with others who may include their friends and celebrities,
and they may choose new looks to ‘fit in’ with their peers.”
In some cases, the tendency for comparison and
self-evaluation can lead to dissatisfaction
with the way one looks, according to Dr. Gorman. This
dissatisfaction eventually could
hurt a teen’s overall self-image.
So what can parents do to encourage a healthy body image?
“It takes time for a child to develop a healthy image of
themselves and it isn’t always easy,” says Dr. Gorman, who
recommends
the following tips to help parents support their children
during this trying time of life
Accept and understand.
Recognize that being concerned about looks is as much a
part of the teen years as a changing voice and learning to
shave. You know that in the grand scheme of things your
daughter's freckles don't matter, but to her they might seem
paramount. As frustrating as it can be when they
monopolize the bathroom, avoid criticizing kids for being
concerned about appearances.
As they grow, concern about their looks will stop dominating
their lives.
Give lots of compliments. Provide lots of reassurance about
kids' looks and about all
their other important qualities. As much as they may seem
not to notice or care, simple statements like "you've got
the most beautiful smile" or "that shirt looks great on you"
really do matter. Compliment them on other physical
attributes, such as strength, speed,
balance, energy, or grace. Appreciating physical qualities
and capabilities helps build
a healthy body image.
Compliment what's inside too. Notice out loud all the
personal qualities that you love
about your kids — how generous your son is to share with his
little sister, the determined
way that your daughter studies for her tests, or how your
son stood by his best friend. Reassure
them when they express insecurity. When you hear "I hate my
hair" or "I'm so little," provide a valuable counterpoint.
Talk about what appearances mean. Guide your kids to think a
little more deeply about appearances and how people express
themselves. Talk about the messages that certain styles
might convey. One outfit may send the message "I'm ready to
party!" while others
might say "I'm heading to school" or "I'm too lazy to do
laundry." Set reasonable boundaries. Be patient, but also
set boundaries on how much time your kids can spend on
grooming and dressing. Tell them it's not OK to
inconvenience others or let chores go. Be a good role model.
How you talk about your own looks sets a powerful example.
Constantly complaining about or fretting over your
appearance teaches kids to cast the same critical eye on
themselves. Almost
everyone is dissatisfied with certain elements of their
appearance, but talk instead about what
your body can do, not just how it looks. Instead of griping
about how big your legs are,
talk about how they're strong enough to help you hike up a
mountain.
When parents care for and appreciate their own bodies,
they teach kids to do the same. For
more information on topics of interest to parents, click on
the Online Health Library on Sacred Heart's Web site. |
